DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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