Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops