If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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