How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Ol-ive

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down

Obama walks into a hospital....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops