A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Your sex life.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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What does a blind, deaf, parapalegic baby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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