Turtles

What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Knock Knock. Come in.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

a man walked into a bar ouch

what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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