Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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