Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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