- Anti Joke

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

Poop

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

nickel back

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

This is not a joke.

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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