Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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okay so theres this guy.

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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