The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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What? Why?

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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