What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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