What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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1+1=2

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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This isn't funny.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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5

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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how do you win a game try your best

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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