Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "On your face"

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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read this

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Gay's

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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