Two parrots were sitting on a perch. The older one turned to the younger one and said "do you smell fish?" The younger one paused for a bit, and replied "do you smell fish?" Their owner had been talking about fish.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

Who is big and stupid My brother

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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