A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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