Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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27

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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