Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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The.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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The game!

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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