Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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hi

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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