what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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