why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Dyslexia ruels!

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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rarw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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