What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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women outside of the kitchen

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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