Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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I walked down a dark alley at night and ran into 2 black men. They said hello and were on their way

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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