What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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69

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Women's Rights

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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