Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm 4 and what is this?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops