How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

thumb_up thumb_down -19

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

thumb_up thumb_down

whats white and gooy liguid goop

thumb_up thumb_down +11

my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops