What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

An epileptic man attends a rave.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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