What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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Snausages.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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