A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Snarf Nuggets

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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