A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. The blond was on holiday, the brunette lived there and the red head was there on business, it was a very large and industrial island.

thumb_up thumb_down +501

what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +17

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops