A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

Sea World Japan.

why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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