Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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aa

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops