How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Whats worse then people People copying other Anti-Jokes. People copying other Anti-Jokes about the holocaust.

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Women's sports

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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