Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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