I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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nina...;shut up we are having fun :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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YOU

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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Dan O'Driscoll

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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