2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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A man died.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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Why did the dog eat poop?

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops