What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

matty russel are you on here

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

think twice or at least think

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops