Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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