Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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