Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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women's rights

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can i have a cookie no diabeto!

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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