What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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Turkeys are obese

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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rocky is here again.......................

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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