What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Patient- Doctor, I am feel intense feeling for 15 year old pop singers!!! Doctor- Oh, sound like youve got Beiber Fever. Patient- Whew. I thought it was something serious Doctor- Its terminal, you have about 5 more days to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops