What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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