Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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