how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cliterus

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops