If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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