"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Woman rights.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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