What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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