"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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