What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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96

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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