Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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