An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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