- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +22

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You see how lame this is?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops