What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Zach Barlow

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Once upon a time

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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