A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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you will now laugh.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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the asian kid gets an F

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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