Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

N

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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