Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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