Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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