What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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