What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Skinny people fart less.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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she wasn't 18

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Here is a joke for you: minecraft -blarg

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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